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25 Days of Christmas
Welcome one and all with the Christmas time coming near I decided to throw my hat in the ring and take from RH with his 25 days of Christmas but I gonna try to upstage him by doing 25 days of Christmas and yes I probably won’t do any of these for the rest of the future December’s so let’s start the show get some popcorn relax by the fireplace get comfy cause your gonna be here for awhile Story 1: How Onion Cream Stole Christmas Announcer: We see the Veggiecorp with Onion Cream inside looking sad Onion Cream: Christmas why does it have to be that. I rather have be any other time in the world even the blistering hot of the summer cuz when it’s December it will always be a bummer. Every Christmas Day I got nothing but crap. Maybe if that will this way than I could ruin the fun for others make them angry enough to throw them off the nice list and steal presents time to think through my plans for there Christmas Announcer: We cut to Culdee,Endless, and RH in a play RH: Ok so let rehearse. So let start and take by the first. Know what can we stop the rhyming I think this won’t succeed Culdee: Fine we’ll just have that for the lead. RH: Ok so Endless let begin Endless: (Sounding monotone) Hey Culdee And RH have some cookies and milk RH: Endless why are you sound so monotone? Endless: (Monotone) Oh cuz I have a chill pill patch on the back of my head Announcer: We see a chill pill patch on the back of Endless head Endless: So I won’t cause something outrageous since they say that people like it to be more relaxed, soothing, marketable. That's what people like. RH: That isn’t right Culdee: RH While sure it isn’t right with the damages last year I had to get money from the Russian mafia! RH: Wait What Culdee: So yeah I gonna get some props and I might make some extra stops RH: There gonna be inconsistent rhyming Culdee: Yeeeeup! RH: Yay... Announcer: We cut back to Onion Cream with another troll called “Vandal Clown” Vandal Clown: Ok so what your plan anyway Onion Cream: It pretty simple firstly we use my glum glumanator to take away everyone happiness and make them mean next we’ll injury Santa however with it being so far that could wait a day. Vandal Clown: Ok let start this rampage Onion Cream: To start a new age! Vandal Clown: Probably won’t happen for that but screw it Announcer: We Than see Onion Cream Behind Parappa’s House with the three inhabitants outside Parappa: Can’t wait to celebrate Christmas in this town Matt: Hopefully this time Pj Berri won’t make the tree brown PJ Berri: Shut Up. Onion Cream: Time to test this baby out. And see them all pout Vandal Clown: Can we stop with the rhyming for now Onion Cream: Sure. But time to get this over with Announcer: Onion Cream gets out of his hiding place shocking the three Parappa: Onion Cream! Onion Cream press the trigger and shoots a laser and when it was gone we see there color gone Matt: Know What this effort isn’t worth it let just go inside and hide Parappa: Yep PJ Berri: Agreed Announcer: The three go back into there house and pout Onion Cream: Yes it works! Now time on a shopping spree of There happiness Vandal Clown: Don’t Know What you said but can we get this over with we need to work on the second plan Onion Cream: Ok Fine let’s this done with my crime. Cause it’s showtime! Announcer: Onion Cream Used his machine on the inhabitants taking away there happiness and fun We see Sunny eating dirt out of a flowerpot than get hit by the laser and Than throws it on the ground, next we see the laser hitting Bowser who’s watching Charley and friends Christmas special making him turn off the channel and Junior getting hit by it throwing a plate of cookies on the floor, And See Sonic,Sonia,Mainc,Tails, And Shadow getting hit by the laser while putting decorations on a tree 4 Knock the tree down while Shadow remained the same and we see them outside the Wiki head Onion Cream: Ha we just have three left to go before we we complete this theft! Vandal Clown: Yeah they can’t stop us now! When this is done the villains will be proud Onion Cream: Let end this Announcer: The two broke in the Headquarters and rush across the hall till the reach the three Culdee: Onion Cream What your doing here! Onion Cream: To steal your Christmas spirit! RH: NO! Vandal Clown: Ok so who should we start with Onion Cream: How about the already gray person Vandal Clown: Sure Announcer: Onion Cream shoots the laser at Endless but the aftermath nothing seems different no changes at all Endless: (Monotone) Culdee do you any hot chocolate Vandal Clown: What did it work Onion Cream: Hold I see something on the back I think it’s a chill pill patch this thing won’t work on people who having there spirt already suppress Vandal Clown: Want me to rip it off to steal his Christmas spirt Onion Cream: Sure we have to do this Culdee: This won’t End well Rh: How can you tell? Culdee: Just sit And Watch And be prepared to run when it comes Vandal Clown rips off the patch and turns back to Onion Cream Vandal Clown: Ok you can do this now Onion Cream: Yes At this rate no one can stop me Vandal Clown: I can’t wait to see this town after th- Announcer: Suddenly, without the Chill Pill patch, Endless grabs Vandel Clown, and screams in his face! His ensemble is different, he wearing a green one piece suit looking like footy pajamas wears a red mohawk wig, and white face paint with red ornaments on his cheeks, and pine trees on his eyes! The background flashes red and green (and I apologies to epileptics)! Vandel Clown is understandably SCARED OUT OF his WITS! Then suddenly, it transforms into…a music video? Endless stands alone in a spotlight. Endless':' (singing) I'm full of Christmas Semen. I don't know what it is, but it's HOT. / It's like Heaven's orgasm, inside an oatmeal cookie shot. Announcer: As he sings these lyrics, he slowly zooms in as Onion Cream and Vandel Clown both look wary and frightened. Endless':' (singing) And when I put my Santa hat on, it's a needle full of Christmas glee! Announcer: He motions towards a Santa hat then appears to inject himself with a needle full of what looks like strawberry jelly. Onion Cream and Vandel Clown are even more scared! Endless':' (singing) Coating my house in frilly shit, and Disney trademarked intellectual property! Announcer: He gestures towards a pair of moving doilies, as he stalks towards Onion Cream and Vandel Clown, and holds up a "copyright document" which says in big bold red print, "THE MOUSE OWNS CHRISTMAS," as what appear to be Mickey and a Disney Princess rise up behind him, and then in a thunder clap, look at Onion Cream and Vandel Clown with glowing red eyes! Onion Cream/Vandel Clown':' (jumping in fear) AHH! Announcer: They make a run for it! They run away as the background changes to a snow-filled area with three pine trees, and a log cabin in the distance. And NC continues with his insanity! Endless':' (singing) 'Cause it's SNOWING! I love SHOPPING! / And I fu-FU-FU-'FU-FU-FU-FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! ' Announcer: He dashes towards a neighborhood with one house that looks like it has Christmas lights up… Endless':' (singing) Setting up the lights so my Announcer: The lights illuminate to make it look like it's singing with Endless! Endless: (Singing) FUCKING HOUSE SINGS! / 'Cause I'm FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY ABOUT CHRISTMAS! Announcer: Onion Cream and Vandel Clown run, as NC skips behind them merrily! Endless':' (singing) If Christmas was living, I'd fuck it to death! / And then consume its body for its Christmas Breath! Announcer: Vandel Clown and Onion Cream run in the hopes to lose this maniac! Endless Pirouettes across the field, and then stops in the center! Endless':' (singing) ♫ 'Cause it's GROWING! I'M NOT STOPPING!! / And I fu-FU-FU-'FU-FU-FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! ♫' Announcer: With each "Fu", the scene behind him explodes! We then see Jesus standing on a "stage" with a crucifix behind him. Endless':' Ladies and gentlemen! Jesus Christ on the electric guitar! Announcer: And Jesus (which this is a missed opportunity, because it totally shoulda been Santa Christ) begins playing a rock rendition of "Jingle Bells!" Endless::''' APPLAUD! YOU APPLAUD, GODDAMMIT! HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS!!! (singing) I'll buy all things red and green, accumulating thousands in debt. Announcer: Vandel Clown and Onion Cream try to flee, only to be blocked by a gingerbread man. '''Gingerbread Man: YOU CANNOT BEAT US! Endless':' (singing) I'll let it ruin my life, making it the best Christmas yet! Announcer: With another explosion Endless and Jesus rise up behind them on top of a giant Christmas tree. Endless':' (singing) And I'll play those Christmas carols, until my ears will bleed with Christmas cheer! Announcer: Endless Turns his head to show his ears are bleeding with Christmas cheer. An echo of "Christmas cheer!" is heard. Endless':' (singing) It'll scare the shit out of you, but it's only getting bigger every year! Announcer: Endless pops up behind Vandel Clown and Onion Cream, his head on top of a snowman's body, screaming and scaring them away. We then cut to Endless pirouettes next to a Christmas tree, before grabbing and humping it 'till it explodes! Endless':' (singing) 'Cause it's SNOWING! I love SHOPPING! / And I fu-FU-FU-'FU-FU-FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! ' Announcer: Next we see the Rankin/Bass Rudolph and Hermes from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, who look up with fear as NC comes in smashing the stop motion set to death. Endless':' (singing) I'll love those stop-motion specials that scare the shit out of me! / 'Cause I'm FUCKING BATSHIT CRAZY ABOUT CHRISTMAS! Announcer: A demonic Santa bounces across the screen revealing flash''' animated hot chocolate on NC, then he's in a blond wig, holding a shotgun parodying Ralphie from A Christmas Story. Endless: (singing) I'll bathe in hot chocolate 'till my skin is red! / And I'll quote Christmas Story''' Announcer: Endless''' head expands as he screams at Vandel Clown and Onion Cream''' Endless: (Singing) TILL YOUR SOUL IS DEAD! Announcer: Endless riding in a sled pulled by four more Endless’s, and with each "Fu" he pops up on a different angle and does a different pose. Endless':' (singing) 'Cause I'm SOAKING in sweet TOPPINGS! / And I fu-FU-FU-'FU-FU-FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!' Announcer: We Cut to Endless on the computer, looking back and forth at the camera and the monitor, typing madly. Endless':' (singing) And the deals! And the meals! And the feels! And the steals at the SEARS! Announcer: Cut to Endless and Jesus Christ rocking back and forth behind Vandel Clown and Onion Cream who run off screen Endless':' (singing) Keep it longer! Make it stronger! Nothing's wrong here! I could stay here all YEAR! Vandel Clown: Help, He‘s a fucking madman. Announcer: Vandel Clown and Onion Cream keep running as Endless and Jesus Christ float after them. Endless':' (singing) Smell the crazy! Feeling hazy! Something's tasty! At the Macy's DOWNTOWN! Endless jumps down in front of Vandel Clown and Onion Cream, before spontaneously setting on fire. Endless':' (singing) Getting higher! Feeling wired! I'm inspired! I'm on fire right NOW! Announcer: Vandel Clown and Onion Cream scream and run the other way. Endless turns around and around amongst signs advertising signs. Endless': (Singing) '''I love the overmarketing for making doubloons! / (iTunes logo pops up) By the way, the original song's available on iTunes! Announcer: Endless is now a giant stomping across the Christmas landscape towards Onion Cream and Vandel Clown. Endless': (Singing)' I wanna smash it open 'til it's stiff and cold / and then search its brains for its Christmas gold / and then drink its blood 'til I lose control / and the Christmas madness will take its TOLL! Announcer: A gunshot rings out, and a surprised Endless pulls a syringe out of his hindquarters, mulls over it, and promptly collapses, bringing us back to the studio. Culdee':' (with tranq rifle, to Onion Cream and Vandel Clown) Don't ever fucking do that again! Onion Cream':' I'm sorry! Ok that might be my biggest mistake beside losing to you Culdee':' What he has is a sickness that can only be cured by repression and tranquilizers. RH':' Yeah, that was fucking scary! And we’re arresting you Vandel Clown: After That I’m ok with that as long we don’t have to see him Announcer: The four begin to walk away. Endless':' (softly singing) It's snowing, I love shopping / and I fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fucking love Christmas / Enough to build tranquilizer immunity / I must be fucking batshit crazy about… Onion Cream':' Wait a minute, what did he say? Announcer: They turn around, and Endless is back on his feet advancing towards them along with guitar Jesus, backing them against the door in fear. Endless':' (loudly again) I'll kill anyone not celebrating with me! / Your resistance is feeding my insanity! / 'Cause it's snowing, I love shopping! / So put the star on top the tree / and buy me a fucking TV! / We're going on a shopping spree! / My stocking's filled with DVDs! / My heart is filling up with glee / Can't help what's coming over me / I fu-FU-FU-'''FU-FU-FUCKING LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! ' Endless gives a sigh of relief. Endless':' Boy, that did feel good. Thanks so much, you guys. Hey, Jesus! Endless walks off to his left. Jesus plays a quick couple notes on his guitar, throws up the horns, and follows and than Onion Cream and Vandel Clown falls to the ground and dies of a heart attack RH: How about we call it a day Culdee: Ditto RH: At Least the two are dead for the time being The two walk away Story 2: Snowball War! We see people outside having fun making snowmen and sledding than we zoom inside a house with a person look like he been in there for weeks without using the bathroom Culdee: Seriously! Fuck this! Culdee throws his Nintendo switch out the window Culdee: Should See What new at the wiki Culdee walks to and arrives at the wiki and a moment later walks back out Culdee: Ok so nothing eh could see a movie let see Stupid,lame, And not interesting great and since I threw my switch out the window what now hehe.. We cut to RH RH: Let See nope. Nope. Nope. Ok so far nothing For the wiki’s holiday Christmas party hopefully it won’t end up with a embracing snapshot of my at the Christmas party We hear a knock on the door RH: Ugh Hopefully it’s that package I ordered RH opens the door RH: Finally wh- A giant snow ball hits RH Culdee: Teehee I got you RH Culdee gets a snowball to an eye Culdee: HEY! RH: What it’s retaliation Culdee: Oh really then it’s war! RH: This won’t end well for you